Recycled Air

I like the new one almost as much has I like the old one. I think when people trash the new incarnation as being vapid and such, they forget that the first one was just that (and a bit more shocking because it was a totally new concept at the time).

They reuse a lot of old plot lines, and similar story arcs so it's almost like coming home again.

I'm sick of both Entourage and Weeds, their respective seasons a leaving me unsatiated, so this is a breath of fresh (recycled) air.

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Watching HBO's True Blood instead of going to be at a reasonable hour. Any questions?

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First The Tudors

...and now it's Dexter.

I'm obsessed and I can't quite fathom the olden days when you waited to find out the conclusion of the previous episode's cliffhanger. TV on DVD has spoiled me.

The Tudors

I'm dealing with this bout of insomnia so I'm catching up on The Tudors whilst I'm awake.

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Gossip Girl

...is still downloading. My internet connection is completely unresponsive, so I'm straight up stealing a neighbour's. Too bad it's freaking slow. I've been downloading this week's episode for 12+ hours and we're still only halfway there - please don't tell me what happens.

The Hills: A Date with the Past

• House hunting with Lauren, Lo, and Audrina - nice.
  
• Too bad Audrina's going to be relegated to the guest house
• Lauren, it's not really fun if someone has to keep reminding you how fun it is that you're all living together
• Stephen's back in the picture? Bizarre.
• Love is a strong word, Lauren, so is obsessed which you kinda were
• Dear Diary, I never really stopped loving Stephen. xoxo LC
• I think the reason Lauren hates Spencer is that they're both vying for control over Heidi, and she's fighting a losing battle
• Can you please stop calling Lauren LC Spencer? You didn't even know her when she was LC!
• "I wonder if our neighbours have seen me naked yet?" Lo
• Lauren - if you're not cool with Audrina having Justin over, you need to explicitly state that before you invite her to move in with you
• Thanks for bringing a juicer to the party Brody, awesome housewarming gift I guess...
• I just don't get what kind of petty little world these girls live in that they can't be friends with people their friends don't like - it sucks sometimes but you won't mesh with everyone.
  
• Justin actually looks really good, or at least I though he did until I realised that he looked exactly like Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle with the new hair, ew. I need to take a shower now.
  
• The problem with excessively high expectations is that the letdown is so much worse after
• "We kinda had a thing" Lauren explaining Stephen to Stephanie
• Did you need to ring the doorbell multiple times Stephen?
• I would hope that Stephen's mom has better things to think about than whether or not he and Lauren would rekindle what never really was
• What's this, Lauren Conrad having a moment of clarity? Impossible!
• Sometimes it's best to leave things as they are.
  

The Hills: A New Roommate

• Now that Gossip Girl is back, I'm kinda bored with The Hills
• Why is Lauren adopting Whitney's weird way of pronouncing 'ng' sounds? It's along with, not alonk with
• Audrina is so obviously a third wheel in the LC-Lo dynamic - she looks like she's finally clueing in though
• Her closet was a total shit show was it now? Woman, you barely have a job, you need to fix that
• The Heidi-Lauren pseudo drama at the bar isn't even believable at this point. You're not five Heidi, if you want to talk to to Audrina, just do it
• Way to stir up trouble with the whole bringing up of JB being at the same bar (coincidentally, of course)
• Lauren needs to stop being a baby, enough is enough. Either deal with the the fact that sometimes your friends have friends that you don't like, or have more to drink so you don't ruin the night for everyone
• I think Heidi needs to take Lauren aside and make her understadn that she's still trying to figure stuff out but to just chillax
• Quelle surprise that Lauren is freaked out at the possiblity that someone else's world doesn't stop revolving the moment she's no longer in the picture
• Justin Bobby is almost unrecognizable, both in body and mind
• "I know you want to vent about this, but I really have no sympathy [for you]" Spencer to Heidi on the Goa freezeout
• Heidi, expecting Lauren to be the bigger person is an exercise in futility
• P.s. Your ass is eating those white shorts you're sporting
• Lo, you are like someone's boring judgmental mom, and for the love of Christ, please slap some makeup on
• That was a really awkward moment at lunch when Lo dropped the "oh, ps, we're getting a house, but you can totally come' bombshell on Audrina

The Hills: Girls Night Out

Heidi - rocking the hooker tights from American Apparel(?) or perhaps more expensive hooker tights

I feel for Heidi when she's reaching out to Audrina

"OMG. Did you use all the turkey for your one sandwich? Um, no this half is for me and this half is for you." - She-Pratt and Spencer

Uh, Heidi you need to work on your fake-laugh

Heidi looked so uncomfortable until she got her jealousy on

Spencer is the biggest lurker ever. Is that what you call giving someone some space

You can't pull off that jacket Heidi, hardly anyone can...

Those girls eye-fucked the shit out of Heidi as they entered that bathroom!

We're back to tepid music programming I see

Way to turn the situation around and make it about you Lauren, let Audrina tell her freakin story

If looks could kill, Jessica (of PR) is not happy to be usurped by Whitney


Heidi insisted on poorly feigning disinterest so that her coworker would ask her "what's wrong" If you have something to say, just dish

Amazingly, Lauren appears to have impressed Mama Cutrone at the Whitley Kros show

I wanted to punch Spencer in the face when he kept interrupting every.single.word when Heidi was trying to get her point across

Unfortunately, he has a point, and he can't be

Mama Cutrone "You're gone up the ladder to become a Bitch-in Training" to Whitney "and Lauren you've gone from slow-mo to fashion glow". heaps of praise all around.

Did Mama Cutrone just say OMG

Oh, Jessica, I think that you're that change that MC is speaking of - she looked like she wanted to cry

I like how S+H had their heart-to-heart in some back alley

Next Week: The Return of JB!!!

Bullet Notes on The Hills (Ep. 22 & 23)

The Hills: When Spencer Finds Out?

• Brody does totally look like Matthew Fox on the last season of Party of Five
• Even Stephanie realises that going to Lauren's shindig is a bad idea
• Um, Lauren if you're going to welcome Stephanie back into your life, isn't it time you did the same to Heidi?
• Loved that I recognized a Tokio Hotel song before the prompt came up on the screen
• Dear Spencer, you're obviously still dating. Yes, you're on a break but we all know that that still technically counts as dating, as per that Friends episode
• "I meet girls and I'm just like I don't know if I have a girlfriend!" - Spencer
• Did Lo and Frankie have a thing? When did I miss this?
• I'm surprised Lo didn't spit her drink into Lauren's face when she let it slip that She-Pratt was invited
• "Helping myself to my food, nice" - She-Pratt
• Where does everyone get these cheesy wooden cutouts that hang out on their mantles?
• "When does the maid come, because she needs to do those sheets on my couch?" - Spencer
• Way to punch the gift horse in the mouth
• Well that's not going to end well, if Heidi's coworker is working the door, she'll for sure find out about the slight in 2 seconds flat
• Shouldn't your friends' mouths agape be a sign that maybe something is wrong? Lauren, please pull your head out of your ass
• If anything, she should be listening to her friends if only because she has an awful history of making the worst possible decision
• I hate when dudes you like are all "She's cool you would really like her..." as if they're totally oblivious
• Brody may be a bit of a tool, but if even he has misgivings about She-Pratt Lauren, you need to take heed
• Um, Spencer could you maybe take you effing shoes off when you're a guest in someone's house, especially if your feet are up on the couch
• "You're making yourself cry thinking about what you did" he kind of has a point here
• Is it ridiculous headband day at FIDM?
• "I don't really ever want to cause fights, but you didn't do anything wrong" - you can't have it both ways Lauren, if you're going to go postal on Audrina for hanging with Heidi you can't expect there to be a different set of rules when you're involved

The Hills - Just Be Careful

• Whitney's back
• It seems like Lauren doesn't really have scenes at work now that Whitney's not there
• Rules for LA Fashion Week from Mama Cutrone:
• I expect total devotion
• This whole LA 9-5 hours thing is a no go
• Expect to be here every night until at least 11
• You must wear all black
• I don't want to see your boobs
• I don't want to see your peircings
• I don't care if you have tattoos, I don't want to see them
• Don't question me
• Don't roll your eyes at me
• I'm not here to be your friend
• Emily, you're not here to be their friend
• Support and delegation is key
• We get it Lauren, Whitney's desk is empty, get over it
• Just because you're not really doing anything doesn't mean that everyone else is responsibility-free
• I have an insane obsession with Aly and AJ - so stoked that "Like Whoa" palyed on this episode
• Really Audrina, how did you keep your friends while you were dating someone, exactly?
• Those green pants that Heidi was wearing were definitely spicy. I don't know if I love them or hate them...
• Whitney and I have the same gym-steez - big baggy tee, bright sports bra, baggy spandex, full makeup, mad accessories
• Kaila Yu - "Hello Drama" so prescient.
• I find it funny that Audrina categorizes her friends in two categories, her "good friends", and Lauren
• Hello Luke, the hot stylist from PR
• Doorbells at Casa Conrad always equal drama
• It's good that Audrina was able to remain diplomatic when faced with the inconsistencies of Lauren's friend policies

Next week: Spencer, you are a tool. I wonder how Lauren is going to react when finds out Audrina was partying with the enemy once again. I'm happy that Lauren was able to impress Mama Cutrone.

The Hills: An Unexpected Friend

I just re-watched this week's second episode of The Hills because I was beyond bored, recap follows:

• Lauren - do not sleep with the enemy for chrissakes!
• How much did the producers have to pay FIDM to coordinate a 'surprise' computer class matchup
• The music this episode is much better than the last
• Whitney is being thrown to the wolves

• "You have to wear black. I don't know if you know this, but everybody wears black" - Kelly Cutrone

• The ladies from Sass & Bide looked like they had just been blindsided, as if they didn't know that a newbie would be handling their big show
• Um, Chiara, I don't know what your office is all about, but maybe we could cover our stomachs while we're at work, mmkay?
• I like how Audrina needed to be prompted to ask for further details on the whole She-Pratt computer class fiasco
• She-Pratt should have decided to 'stay out of things' a little sooner, rather than later. How is she going to explain to Heidi that she apologized to Lauren
• Loving Janet Jackson's'Feedback - I live under a rock, so this is the first I've heard of it.
• Loved that little jacket that the last model was wearing - a sort of nu-Madras print
• Did you mean work ethic, Whitney? (I meant to throw this in on Tuesday, actually)
  
• I love how Heidi's wearing a $150 cardigan to paint her walls, have you never heard of a plain white tee?
• I loved how fast Heidi's neck snapped around when She-Pratt admitted to apologizing to Lauren
• Has Lo completely stopped wearing makeup/doing her hair?
• Could you have wider teal blue bra straps Heidi, pull yourself together
• I'm glad that Specer has given up on the whole facial hair idea

• You're so homeless, and so lame" - She-Pratt

• Spencer, no one calls her 'LC' anymore
• Is it just me, or has Spencer gained a little weight?

• "The whole no cancer thing, that's good!' "I know, if I could only stop going to tanning beds..." Lauren, then She-Pratt on her quitting smoking

• Next Week's Preview: Why would you invite her to your birthday party, are you just asking for drama and the Spencer facial hair thing is back. He looks like one of the flip card from 'Guess Who' (does anyone remember that game?)

The Hills: Back to LA

• Tsk, tsk Lauren: everyone knows that by declaring being 'over' something it really means you can't quite summon the words to describe how utterly not even close to over it you are
• Lisa Love looks like an older version my mother, kinda terrifying
• I don't really understadn why Spencer expects sympathy from anyone, even She-Pratt has better sense than that
  
• The way Heidi's random co-worker asked about Spencer dating other people made me think that we'd see them hooking up in future episodes
• I feel bad that I enjoy She-Pratt's presence on the show so much. How sad is it that she's the rational one, btw?
• The music the episode sucks so far

• "I can't even imagine walking in here every day without seeing you" - Whitney

  Try not to smirk when you're lying through your teeth Whit.

• "You're making a deal with the devil. You bascally have to give up your life. The good news is, you get a new one..." - Kelly Cutrone

  a Hills metaphor if I ever heard one.
• I find it funny that she-pratt's only requirement for her new fave restaurant is eggs benedict
• Heidi - your new lips are a distraction, and they are all I can see when they pan across your face
• OMG, Lauren totally channeled SJP parker when she declared "I feel like I haven't gone out in so long. I've missed it so!" about LA's nightlife...
• Brody - friends don't berate you in front of your other friends in a bar just because you didn't say 'hi', for the record
• When did Lo become so adult, she seems light years away from all the Laguna-style drama, unlike Lauren, who will always be embroiled in it
• I loved Whitney's little jacket with the ruffled collar that she was wearing as she cleaned out her desk

Better Late Than Never

Some thoughts on The Hills

• The whole soundtrack to recreating the hills - annoying. Do you really need to put the entire soundtrack up in the corner for us MTV?
• Yelle - millions of Americans who has no idea who they were are going to be converted I think, including my friend who heard one of their songs and was all "isn't this that band from the ipod commercial?" and "I was like, first, they're speaking French, and no that's css. css is Brazilian and speak Portuguese..."
• Dear Spencer - way to make it super awkward for Heidi's dad who was basically just like "Um, a phone call is always nice. You could have called"
• Whitney, how do you not know how to pronounce 'Givenchy', were you raised by wolves? I thought you were raised in a fashion closet? What gives.
• Audrina - maybe we could try and time our giving of bad news a bit better?
• My friend S was all into the hills because he said Heidi looked really good, so I was waiting for it, and all I saw was a girl who wears too much makeup on the slopes and a girl who seemingly tries to make her lips seamlessly blend in with her face - not so nice. She basically looked like every girl carrying a LV bag and wearing an expensive trucker hat, except in Colorado
• Lauren, I know you can't really get into hot water because it's your show, but altering your dress isn't a good idea. Whitney, you know she's easily led, why would you even suggest that "there's always our ballgowns"?
• Spencer - bad form on calling someone a hypocrite, especially, when it's in front of their parents, and doubly so because it's you
• Neo is not a 'fancy/flashy club' if there's a bro wearing a longsleeve DC t-shirt
• I like that that Andreas dude flatly told Whitney that a stain on the dress isn't really his problem but because he's on the show it kind of is

• Spencer's reaction - "well, at least we got some things resolved", not really she just kicked you out and has essentially called things off. It's pretty one-sided, definitely no 'we' involved.
• I can't believe that this is the second time Whitney's been sent to Paris for work and she still doesn't really have a working knowledge of French
• My friends who are seriously into dirtbags totally thought that Lauren's motorcycle-riding dude was hot - he was eh, but nothing to write home about. The manly sprout of chest hair at the table was unnecessary...

Lipstick Fumble

I don't hate it, but that's not saying much.

The Washington Post calls it "glittery junk that no one needs" and I'm tempted to agree. The characters are unbelievable (quelle surprise!), with Kim Raver's Nico being the only one I enjoyed (possibly only because we have the same name or because I'm a closed Third Watch fan).

I found the part where they were on lunch break (?) talking about Nico's husband's sexual proclivities rang a bit false. Maybe my friends are all incredible oversharers, but isn't this something that you'd probably already know about a close friend of yours? I mean I've fielded call literally seconds after hookups have left my various friends houses only to be regaled with details running the gamut from positively tame to downright NSFW.

Wendy's office life is kinda confusing: I'm not really familiar with movie studios, but are there always that many people just standing around the office.

I wasn't interested in the comings Lindsay Price's Victory Ford, fashion designer!, but that's just par for the course at this point. I'll probably tune in next week if I remember what time it's on only because I'm a sucker for fallen women and the 25-year-old subplot piques my interest.

The Boob Tube

You know that feeling when you're convinced that someone hates you but they're super nice to you anyways? Yeah, that's what I felt yesterday as I walked the dog from my boss' house to the Pansy's. It was Monday so we were convening over there to watch The Hills and eat copious amount of pizza (seriously, never eating pizza again - though I say that every time).

The episode itself was a bit of a letdown, but that's kind of what you expect, and we didn't catch the previews next week so I have nothing to look forward to. I'm more excited for the next episode of Gossip Girl at this point...

Body Language

I feel like a total dirtbag for supporting the Heidi Montag-Spencer Pratt trainwreck, but I kinda love her 'leaked' track Body Language. It's nothing terribly ground-breaking, but it's exactly what you'd expect music from a pseudo-socialite to sound like.

It's funny that at the end of the track the radio personalities ask if she's the new Britney, but I'd say she's more the new Lindsay Lohan in the sense that she's more well known for her television (film in Lindsay's case) persona and will go on to release a semi-successful cd whose sales will be bolstered from name recognition more than actual talent.

Side note: Lindsay Lohan's music is a guilty pleasure of mine. Also amusing: that the radio host assumes that this song will be the soundtrack to your bar star table dance in the upcoming months.

The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Anticipation

...because Season 3 starts today. I can't really explain my morbid obsession with the show other than the fact that I really got into Laguna last year during my brief period of under-employment, and that it just snowballed from there.

I've taken a lot of heat about my initial impressions of the hosts on MTV, but I stand by those opinions as I feel they were an apt description of their meager talents at the time.

The Candy Hangover

I have a friend who is currently employed at a job that she hates (and is subsequently leaving soon for greener pastures) so she hooked us both up (myself and The Bar Star) with about 2 lbs of free bulk candy yesterday which I proceeded to eat with such zeal that you'd think I'd never seen candy in my life.

I was definitely wired, so I picked up my board and rode to The Pansy's to catch the season finale of The Real World: Denver to catch the pious ramblings of Steven who is apparently unfamiliar with the old adage 'people who live in glass houses...'* - or maybe that just doesn't apply to the self-righteous?

On a completely unrelated note, today is day 3 or 4 of ominous looking clouds precluding me from skating. Dear Edmonton weather: Make up your mind!

*For those out of the loop, Steven blasted Davis for having sex outside of his relationship at home, then what seemed like hours later he was fooling around with Jennifer (both Steven and Jennifer have had trouble keeping their lips/hands/other appendages to themselves all season).

Deception

The Pansy: Oh, well can we get home quickly because I haven't seen last week's episode [of the Hills] and I want to watch it before the new one is on.
Team Gingerbread: Sure, no problem, so we're just going to eat somewhere close?
The Pansy: Actually, I'm not even sure if they replay last week's episode. I've already seen it anyways, I just wasn't going to tell you...
Team Gingerbread: Bitch! I can't believe you weren't going to tell me. It's OK though because I've seen it too. I wasn't going to tell you either because I didn't want to spoil it for you.
The Pansy: I can't believe this
Team Gingerbread: I can't believe you wouldn't tell me this but you'd expect me to tell you if I hooked up with a guy you liked
The Pansy: It is not the same thing at all
Team Gingerbread: Difference of opinions, I suppose.

The one with the sleepover

...wherein we watch the complete first seasons of both Beverly Hills: 90210 and Melrose Place. skate videos and eat pizza.

The Laguna Beach Drinking Game

In honour of the obsession (read: Pancake and Gingerbread's pathetic obsession with Laguna Beach) - the Laguna Beach drinking game:

* If there’s ever an awkward pause in a conversation, one person puts a sip of their drink in the middle cup.
* If Jason totally lies to a girl, all guys drink.
* If Jessica claims she’s over Jason, all girls drink.
* If Talan claims to love/like either Kristin or Taylor, everyone drinks.
* If any of the girls go shopping, all the boys drink.
* Any time the boys go surfing, all the girls drink.
* If Lo says anything at all, everyone does a shot.
* If LC is happy for more than 10 consecutive seconds, everyone drinks.
* If Kristin talks about hooking up, all single people drink.
* Any time Cedric, “Jason’s friend”, say something, all people missing a chromosome drink.
* Any time Alex M. says anything, everyone with an STD drinks.
* If any of the cast goes to a ridiculously expensive restaurant on a date, everyone drinks.
* Any time Stephen gets dissed by Kristin, everyone drinks.
* Any time Taylor says anything, anyone who looks like they were beaten half to death with a 2×uc0 × has to drink.
* Any time there’s a blatant shot of Jessica’s HUGE tits, everyone does a shot.
* If Casey mentions “Quesadillas”, everyone who doesn't get it drinks.
* Whenever Kristin rolls her eyes, each girl can give out one drink.
* Whenever Jason doesn’t make eye contact, each guy can give out one drink.
* Any time someone watching the show says “This shit is so scripted”, that person has to do a shot.
* Any time someone says “So what’s up with you and _______ ?”, anyone in a relationship has to drink.
* When someone explicitly mentions sex, the last person in the room to have lost their virginity drinks the center cup.

I'd like to thank my friend Dave for filling my inbox with gems like these!

and now, back to the LB binge-athon