Thursday, November 02, 2006

Sexually-charged missives from team chastity

Excerpts from the flurry of texts (I'm not telling who the sender or the receiver was, that's up to you to speculate about):

[...]except I know the night will end with us getting into a fight but at least I get dick first.

[...]the painkillers and anti-inflammatories are making it possible for me to bone

haha. don't be mad just because I burned you

f*ck you! I'm telling The Archaeologist that you want him to bend you over

I'm wasted!

where are you? HOUSE PARTY! (this ones only funny becasue I can totally picture the sender drunkenly yelling the answer)

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So I was chatting at work about a mutual friend (I won't name names) who had been going through somewhat of a sexual dryspell (cough*drought*cough) and how tragically comedic it was the s/he had messed up their back so badly that they were pretty much unable to sit/stand (and thus work) for long periods of time, thus almost certainly ruling out any form of sex.

This was only marginally funny because s/he had planned on reconnecting with an old flame when s/he went home for the weekend because, lets face it, it had been almost 3 months and s/he was more than a little stir crazy.

I pointed this out to my coworker and we chuckled quietly, she then asked me if I had pointed this out to our mutual friend (I hadn't because I feared what she might do) and we both came to the conclusion that even mentioning such a thing would have likely resulted in a violent reaction.

...and then we went back to making fun of The Archaeologist, because he's an easy target.

"I can make you a salad, I'm a vegan; that's what we do!"

6 comments:

Eric said...

I wonder if my phones t9 can do inflammatories...

hrm.. nope..

but it can do 'cock' so I'm happy.

Eric said...

Oh sweet..and the button pattern for 'cock' is the same for 'anal'. Man, how convenient.

Tonight is double post night apparently.

team gingerbread said...

oh eric, always as source of amusement!

team gingerbread said...

eric - I think i had to manually do 'inflammatories'

Sushi the Mermaid said...

I can't have fun texting conversations anymore becasue Rumblemints steals my phone when I'm drunk. This is to keep me from embarassing myself, but only results in pissing me off.

team gingerbread said...

Aw that's no fun. I'm pretty good at policing myself when I'm drunk and weilding a full phonebook...