Excerpts from the flurry of texts (I'm not telling who the sender or the receiver was, that's up to you to speculate about):
[...]except I know the night will end with us getting into a fight but at least I get dick first.
[...]the painkillers and anti-inflammatories are making it possible for me to bone
haha. don't be mad just because I burned you
f*ck you! I'm telling The Archaeologist that you want him to bend you over
where are you? HOUSE PARTY! (this ones only funny becasue I can totally picture the sender drunkenly yelling the answer)
So I was chatting at work about a mutual friend (I won't name names) who had been going through somewhat of a sexual dryspell (cough*drought*cough) and how tragically comedic it was the s/he had messed up their back so badly that they were pretty much unable to sit/stand (and thus work) for long periods of time, thus almost certainly ruling out any form of sex.
This was only marginally funny because s/he had planned on reconnecting with an old flame when s/he went home for the weekend because, lets face it, it had been almost 3 months and s/he was more than a little stir crazy.
I pointed this out to my coworker and we chuckled quietly, she then asked me if I had pointed this out to our mutual friend (I hadn't because I feared what she might do) and we both came to the conclusion that even mentioning such a thing would have likely resulted in a violent reaction.
...and then we went back to making fun of The Archaeologist, because he's an easy target.
"I can make you a salad, I'm a vegan; that's what we do!"