On breast cancer
Hawaiian Delight: (massaging his pectoral) I think I feel a lump
Team Gingerbread: I don't think you have breast cancer* if that's what you're worried about
Hawaiian Delight: No but there's a lump
Team Gingerbread: Well that's not how you do a breast exam anyways. You have to lift your arm above your head.
Team Gingerbread: It's probably just a cyst or something, but I'm not a doctor yet.
Hawaiian Delight: What does a lump feel like?
Team Gingerbread: I don't know, I don't have breast cancer!
Hawaiian Delight: You should know these things!
Team Gingerbread: Um, why?
Hawaiian Delight: Uh, because you're in University, duh
On fashion disasters
Team Gingerbread: Ew, Uggs and Lululemon pants, please! That's like the fashion equivalent of a gangbang. You pick a bandwagon and you jump on. Subscribing to every single trend just makes you look like an idiot.
White Trash Customer: ...and I was all like 'That is a Guess purse! You just don't throw that on the road'
*before anyone gets uppity, I fully recognize that men can get breast cancer.