Tuesday, December 19, 2006

It's the most wonderful time of the year

...to encounter dickheads of course.

Tis the season to be buying your kids' love with obscenely extravagant gifts, I get it, but what I don't get is why you put it off. Every time I have to deal with a parent who is freaking the fuck out because we no longer had something I get a little angrier and start to hate Christmas a little more than usual.

Sample conversation:

Irate Parent: Where are these goggles?
Team Gingerbread: Which ones?
Irate Parent: They were green...
Team Gingerbread: Brand?
Irate Parent: I don't know we were here a month and a half ago!
Team Gingerbread: Well these are all the goggles we have in store right now, so we've most likely sold out.
Irate Parent: But I need those goggles! They're the ones my daughter wants, why don't you have any left?
Team Gingerbread: Well, you admitted yourself that you were in here over a month ago, and it is Christmas...
Irate Parent: But I need those ones!

The Box Lady: I'd like to return these [shoes that I bought literally 30 minutes ago]
Team Gingerbread: Alright. Do you mind if I ask why? (I was just curious, you don't need a reason to return stuff at our store)
The Box Lady: Well (motioning towards her young daughter) it turns out they really hurt her feet. She was just lying [and saying that they fit] because she really wanted them.
Team Gingerbread: We don't do cash refunds, only in store credit or exchange.
Team Gingerbread: So you're saying that they're worn?
The Box Lady: Yes, but only for five minutes.
Team Gingerbread: Where is the [shoe] box?
The Box Lady: (looks utterly dumbfounded)
Team Gingerbread: I can't exchange them because a) they're worn, and b) you no longer have the box.
The Box Lady: Do you really need the box?
Team Gingerbread: When we take returns we need to be able to resell the items. Would you be very pleased if I sold you shoes without a box?
The Box Lady: But, it's just a box!

Confused Aunt: Are these all your DC Shoes?
Team Gingerbread: Yes
Confused Aunt: I'm looking for the DC Grier
Team Gingerbread: We've never had a shoes by that name
Confused Aunt: Yes you have, it's right here on [the niece's] Christmas wish list
Team Gingerbread: Are you sure she didn't see it online? Because sometimes shoes come out in US markets a couple of months before they make it to Canada...I'm not even sure that shoe exists
Confused Aunt: No, she definitely saw it here. I'll be back [to prove you wrong]

(she never came back)


Two Drink Girl said...

I hate working retail at Christmas. My airport job is the worst, because people expect us to carry everything like we are Best Buy, but we only have like 500 square feet of space!

Charm School Reject said...

Don't you love it when middle aged housewives think they know all about the things you sell in your store? Um. Hello. You've worked here how long?

The lady with the green goggles reminds me of how ditzy girls answer when they are asked what kind of car they drive.

Charm School Reject said...

Yay! I can post as me now!

Maritza said...

I don't know how you put up with the general Bozo-iness (that's a clown if you're too young to catch the reference) of most humans. Saintly! That's what you are!

Deb said...

If everyone had to work retail and food service jobs at least once in their lives, the world would be a much nicer, more understanding place.

apositivepessmist said...

Tis the season to be jolly...

yeah jolly well sick of all the idiots out Chrissy shopping.

Heather said...

people are such assholes.
working at hallmark over the holiday season was just as bad.
dumbass housewives.

S* said...

I once worked retail during the holidays. By Christmas Eve, we had NO bags and no boxes. We had to stuff the clothes into those long trash bag looking garment bags usually reserved for coats. We'd tie a knot where the hanger hole was and send people on their way.

People would get pissed...like, yeah, I'm hiding all the bags up my ass but you can't have one.

team gingerbread said...

tdg - I know, so sad. It's called get over yourself people

csr - lol, yay!

maritza - yeah, something like that

deb - true

apositivepessimist - couldn't have said it better myself

heather - I can't even imagine the horrors of Hallmark, where Christmas season probably starts in October...

s*- Totally, my fave is when people complain about how expensive stuff is, and I want to ask them where the fuck they shop, the 1950s?