Monday, October 30, 2006

An open letter to that couple on the bus

...you know who you are!

So yeah, I'm super stoked that you two felt the need to grace this world with another child, and all before the tender age of nineteen no less, but please spare us the visuals.

It's really not necessary to openly grope you little man friend (the baby's father I presume?) in full view of both commuters and your impressionable child. I really don't need a play by play re-enactment of exactly how your child was conceived (less the alcohol that was clearly involved, of course).

"Oh sure", you say, "just don't look", but that's really not possible this time as everyone on the bus, myself included, are also pretending not to notice the fully-grown man sobbing tearfully into his coworkers shoulder abotu the customers who were mean to him (grow the fuck up!). So no, it's really not possible for me, or anyone else, to look elsewhere.

Save the penis to hand contact for more private quarters, or at least an area of the bus that's slightly less well lit (they were near the front with their child in a stroller), or better yet, let him focus his attention on the PSP in his hands instead of on you, lord knows you probably don't need another child running around.

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In other news, I made 'mad claims' as the Archaeologist would say at work yesterday selling a complete snowboard (all high end equipment too!) to one girl whose dad was footing the bill and 2(!!!) jackets and snowpants to this mom and daughter and a handful of less expensive items.

6 comments:

Sushi the Mermaid said...

I'm so embarassed you saw us...I thought we were being descrete.

team gingerbread said...

oh snap, that comment actually caused me to laugh out loud in class.

nice work sushi!

Serra said...

You're absolutely right--no one needs to see that shit.

team gingerbread said...

serra - I know, you'd think it would be common sense, but here we are

Eric said...

Eh, next time that shit starts to happen break out the camphone and make sure they notice it.

What they get.

team gingerbread said...

eric - somehow I don't think that would deter them