Holy awkward, Batman!

Lately, we've been playing this 'game' around the sorority house where someone makes fun of the awkward conversation stoppers that The Roadtrip Queen likes to interject rather sporadically. There are literally thousands of examples of such social infractions, but perhaps the most striking one would be Valentine's Day this year.

The Roadtrip Queen, The Christitute, and I are sitting around in TC's room, just shooting the breeze and talking about the party we'd had on the weekend.

TC: That was so much fun!
Me: Yeah, it totally was...but mistakes were made
TC: Haha! So true
TRQ: I had sex with The Convict!
TC/Me (in unison): Whaaaa? Where did that come from?
TRQ (laughs)

Uh, right.

But then it occured to me that I'm just as bad, if not worse. I'm constantly sticking my foot in my mouth in the worst way. I'm talking conversation halters here.

Example 1:

the scene - first year university, physical education for special populations class, lab segment

Me: Oh my God, this is soooo lame! Sometimes I wish I was disabled so that I wouldn't have to do these stupid labs!
Disabled Girl (angrily): No you don't
Me (stammers something awkward then runs away)

Example 2:

the scene - fraternity exchange, in the basement of the Kappa Alpha house

Me: Oh my God, I hate Justin Jones with a fiery passion
Random Frat Guy #1: Yeah, he's such a tool
Me: I know, and what's even lamer is that stupid plywood table that he calls 'JJ's Bar'. How lame is that?
Random Frat Guy #2: Uh, [the people who lived on my floor that year] made that for him
Me: Yeah... (trailing off then takes a huge gulp of wine)

Example 3:

the scene - at work after the last day of exams

Me (to a coworker that was also in my gender class): Oh look, the prof is here. I guess she's making good on her promise of beer and wings after finals
Coworker: Yeah, I'm not going
Me (as a girl hands me her ID): Me neither, the people who hang with the profs after class are total losers!
Girl (grimaces as I hand her back the ID and joins my prof at the table)
Me: Why does this keep happening to me?

Surely I have some readers that are bigger assholes than me, right? Regale me with your stories, and make me feel better...