Friday, March 14, 2008

Survival Tactics

The Pansy: Why didn't you blog today?
Team Gingerbread: (huffily) I was busy
The Pansy: Fair enough

I think the reason I'm so obssessed with self-denial is that it's a war game I like to playu with myself, in order to prepare for the inevitable.

At some point, although when is really up in the air, I'll be cut off from my family - emotionally, spiritually, and financially. It's happened before, and it's only a matter of time before it happens again, I tell myself.

Something about setting a precedent.

So I practice, by denying myself something that I love, diligently cutting out one thing after another: tv (that's the latest one), sex (although a whole host of other factors contributed to that one, one of them being that I physically recoiled at the thought of having sex with someone else after The Engineer), the gym, coffee, shopping, meat, just to see if I could come through on the other side unscathed.

So far so good, though you never really know if you're prepared for the apocalypse until it happens.

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