Sometime over the weekend (Saturday I think) someone who resides in my building probably had some friends over both before and after they went to the bar. I know this because there was an entire donair spilled on the floor when I left Sunday morning and most rational people only justify eating donairs after they've spent the entire night doing tequila shots and jager bombs because it really does seem like a good idea at the time.
It has happened once before and we were treated to stray pieces of meat and lettuce in the elevator, all in all, not that big of a deal or inconvenience. Except it is, to one person, it seems. Because I got home Sunday night to ready myself for the big party only to find the lobby and elevator bay peppered with not one, but three, angry and hand-written notes posted about the errant donair in the lobby.
I don't have the exact script committed to memory as I was planning on taking a phot o of said outburst of rage but I forgot and by the time I got around to it, the postings were gone but I can give you the gist.
- Frequent referrals to the culprit being 'a little pig' who desecrated out community - seriously, I didn't know that Alec Baldwin lived in my building.
- Angry handwritten scrawl covering an 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper that was photocopied three times and then posted. Do you not have anything better to do on Christmas eve? Where is the original - did you keep that in a little journal under your bed? (they all appeared to be photocopied)
- Semi-frequent references to the fact that the culprit obviously wasn't a part of our community and was lashing out because they were jealous and would never be able to afford to live in our building.
- Instructions to leave the donair in full sight all weekend long, and not clean it up so that the 'little pig' can be shamed publicly.