Thursday, December 14, 2006

Hypothetically speaking (of course)

What would you do in this situation? Leave your enlightened responses in the comments.

Say you had a certain friend (The Pansy) that has been crushing on another friend (The Gentle Giant - although the way he's been playing the situation you're beginning to reconsider 'friend' status) since forever and say she finally had the courage (read: an entire bottle of wine and gin&tonics in the hotel bathroom) to do something about it.

He follows her lead and the rest is history as they say. Keys are fetched, arrangements are made to split a cab home (although neither of them live even remotely close to each other - she later claims it's because she 'couldn't find us' - a total lie as all three of us had functioning cell phones on us), and it quickly becomes apparent that I may not be able to retrieve my jacket from her apartment - but sacrifices are sometimes made when friends really need to get ass. He tells her he wants to hang out a bit so they hit up the dance floor. She wants him to dance, he says he doesn't roll that way so she dances by herself but he quickly joins her. Hands are going everywhere, asses are being ground into laps and necks are being nuzzled.

He kisses her and then says "OK, lets go". They head outside and have a cigarette and he fills her in on 'the rules' against interoffice romances blah blah blah (insert more shit about him being a giant pussy here). "It could be our little secret" is her somewhat incoherent drunken response. He replies that people always find out and she replies that it shouldn't be a big deal if they just act like adults about this.

She proceeds to tell him that she thinks that 'he's so fucking hot' and he chalks this up to the fact that she's 'just drunk'. She rebuts that she, in fact, had thought so ever since the first day she met him, to which he replies 'that's rad'.

To be honest I didn't really assume anything about their liaison, as I hadn't really seen either them the entire night but I figured something would come of it (I'm hardly one to just to conclusions, but it seemed like the next logical step).

I continued to get my drunk on while they partied it up at the casino, with The Gentle Giant intermittently trying to peer pressure her into smoking a J with him (lame cubed!) and eventually making their way to a cab after 'his little good luck charm' wins him some money. She invites him to come over again, and he finds them a cab and he holds open the door for her, closing it behind her to get in on the other side. Although they are both in the back seat, they are not sitting next to each other but he tells her to 'come over here' and grabs her hand and holds it the rest of the ride home.

They pull in behind her apartment, and she hands to cabbie her credit card to cover their fare and he won't let her pay and tells her he's just going to head home, since he's really tired. She tells him that he can sleep at her place he says "no, I don't want it to happen like this". The Pansy gets her credit card back and slams the door in The Gentle Giant's face and storms into her apartment to call me and rehash.

It was super awkward the day after but things are back to normal after she kind of ambushed him (my suggestion) and reiterated that she wasn't just drunk (I gave her a bit of script for this one) and that she did in fact fancy him. He replied that he 'just couldn't do it' and that 'the whole secret thing just wasn't his style' and that was that, or so it seemed.

He's made it a point to 'coincidentally'* go on break at the same time as her for the past week and a half. The two days they didn't eat lunch together were flukes because the other one wasn't working that day. Each time he pretends to be surprised to see her in the food court (despite the fact that he's been eye-fucking her from the line at whatever place he's eating at that day - she caught his a eye a couple of times and he pretended to not see her) and accuses her of stalking him (Laguna Beach-style flirty fighting?) while inviting himself to sit down at her table and proceeds to eat lunch with her.

So what is a girl to do? What should her next move be? I personally think she shouldn't have to make the next move and that 'the ball is in his court'. Does she have a right to be mad (she wasn't mad at first but he's sending mixed messages. That and the fact that I revealed that both myself and another girl were kinda pissed about the way the The Gentle Giant is (not) dealing with the situation)? Should she get drunk and confront him? Also, (although this may not be his doing, because he was literally the last one to find out that she liked him more and more people have found out about her massive crush this week) even one of the other managers has teased her about her crush and seems to be ok with the concept of them hooking up.


*And by 'coincidentally' I mean he actually did a looksee into our store to see if she was on break, an then quickly scampered into the food court several times already (at least 3 days in a row now).


Ashburnite said...

he is definitely sending mixed signals, but probably by complete accident. most guys are not that smart. He probably likes her, but because of the situation, is not sure what to do about it. And I wouldn't be too upset about hooking up that night- it probably means he actually likes her, instead of just wanting a one-night stand. Give him some space and let him make the next move. She should continue to be friendly, but in a casual way. Just my 2 cents.

team gingerbread said...


I agree that he probably doesn't get that he's sending mixed signals, but you can't just expect someone who poured their heart out to you (twice, once drunk, and once very, very sober - which takes balls) to just want to be friends right away.

It was so awkward the next day at work (when nothing happened) that pretty much everyone assumed something major had happened.

I just don't get if he thinks thinks is a happy medium or what?

I also agree that he's just not a one-night stand kind of guy, but she wasn't asking for his hand in marriage either. The least he could do is maybe ask her to go riding (snowboarding) with him because he keeps dropping hints about how boring his life is and how he has nothing to do/how the holidays are going to be super lonely for him because he can't go home...

S* said...

The ball is in his court. If she were to get drunk and confront him again, that would probably just push him away. Guys like to freak out like that. Like Ashburnite said, she should give him a little space and let him make the move. And if he doesn't, what kind of girl wants to be with a man who is too chicken to go after what he wants anyway?

team gingerbread said...

S* - All good points. I'm totally not a fan of boys who don't have balls either.

For the record, the only confronted him about it once and she was sober at the time, but I think she totally would scare him away if she were to be all forward and stuff

Riss said...

Is your friend absolutely certain she wants to get with a gay guy? Just wondering. Sometimes they can't be turned you know.

Two Drink Girl said...

He's a fucking tool. She needs to tell him to quit stalking her and find another piece of ass.


team gingerbread said...

riss - omfg, lol!

tdg - hypothetically speaking, of course...

Annie said...

Is this boy really fat or really tall or something? I feel I need a better visual. Regardless, with names like Gentle Giant and The Pansy, they seem destined to eventually be together. Maybe they could have a child and name it Tenderheart? (like the chief Care Bear. he was the one in charge, correct? i need to remember. now.)

team gingerbread said...

Annie - The Gentle Giant is really tall and skinny, The Pansy likes her men lanky. The Pansy's name isn't really an accurate description of her nature but I was in desperate need of a name and it just kind of stuck. She feels The Gentle Giant should be called The Pansy due his lack of action, but I digress...