Classy Lady Party + Primers on kissing

Last night we had our weekly Wednesday Night Social (aka. $0.75 draft) and Waffle and I were joined by Props and Crumpet. I got a little more soused than planned - mostly because Props just kept buying rounds and we made him tip our server $10 on a $25 tab. Kristin, our server, runs a tab for us on Wednesdays, which she isn't supposed to do, so we try to tip her well.

I have no idea what time I got home, but I did make a pit stop at Mac's to buy Jane and then I continued my solo drunk walk home. During my first/second year stint in rez I used to drunkenly frequent Mac's some much that Khaleel, the guy that worked there, knew both me and my friend Bre by name and could usually be counted on to rustle up our orders when we were too messed to walk in between the tiny aisles.

While at Scholar's Waffle told Crumpet and Props about her creepy HUB doppelganger, apparently Props just doesn't get how crazy good FIJI water is, because he kept interrupting her story. We tried to explain that it tastes like refreshing air, still nothing.

Finally Waffle said she'd buy him a bottle.

He balked at the $2-$3 price tag, but we explained that it's like crack; we can afford to give it to you for free because we know you'll be jonesing for it andwill resort to begging us to get more.

He also gave us his breakdown of the first kiss with a ladyfriend:

1. Initiate awkward stare
2. Make first move, slowly go in for kiss
3. Limit it to a small peck
4. Pull away a little, pretend to check to see if you upset her. Act like you care about her feelings
5. Stare into her eyes
6. Kiss #2, full on mouth-to-mouth contact
7. Place the right hand on the small, of her back while the left hand cradles her face.
8. Stop kissing so deeply but still maintain mouth contact. Take a nervous breath, and try to shake with your nose (to indicate nervousness - fake it if you have to)
9. Place one hand (didn't specify which one but apparently he reads the blog. Props if you want, let me know and I'll fix it) on the back of neck/head and pull her closer to you, so that your bodies are touching
10. The last part is important because it makes her think you're really into it.

Ha!

Whatevs, I'm really quite tired right now from staying up all night drinking so I'm going to go back to bed, have some Sudafed and some FIJI. Wake me when Days is on...