Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Aliases, Pseudonyms, and Handles

So much drama, so little time. To maintain my thin veil of anonymity, and partially because I have far too much time on my hands it seems, I present you with a cast of characters in this little dramedy.

Stars of the Show:

Gingerbread - that's me. I'm somewhat of an open book now, but you can just read my profile

Latte - my partner in crime. Read her profile too, ok?

The Christitute (aka. TC or Pancake in really early posts) - My sorority sister/roommate. Latte's little sister.

Supporting Characters:

Waffle - Another sorority sister. She and The Christitute had their own blog, but they quickly tired of it. A fashion maven and knower of all things expensive and limited edition. She's a shopaholic in the best sense of the word.

Crumpet - Another sorority sister, and my little sister.

KR (aka. When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong) - A sorority sister who passionate about everything; love her or hate her she's a total trip.

The Engineer - Where to begin? The supposed love of my life. Many ups and downs, and we're always one fight away from the end of the relationship. Stubborn, but sweet.

TRQ (aka. The Roadtrip Queen or Onion in earlier posts) - A sorority sister, and roommate. Liable to fly off the handle and not share with you. To say that we have an acrimnious relationship is an understatement.

The Pansy - A co-worker, who has a little thing for [redacted].

Guest Stars:

T-Baby - Another co-worker who gets propositioned by modeling agents with some frequency despite her love handles (she actually doesn't even weigh enough to have love handles if that's possible)

The Journalist - My sophomore year crush. As the name implies, he's a journalist, and he writes for an alt-weekly. Famous for wooing me with such classic lines as "I'm pretty sure that if you were drunk right now, we'd be making out"

[redacted] (aka. The Gentle Giant)- My work crush. The Pansy and I have the same taste in men it seems. [Ed. Blech, what was I thinking?] An ex-coworker and the object of The Pansy's obsession.

The Archaeologist - My boss. He's a musician, enough said.

The Metro - KR's ex, possibly gay and a Mac fiend.

The Virgin - KR's current, and a virgin (he's saving it for marriage)

Derelicte - a young, and cute coworker who always says inadvertently funny things

The Masseuse - a manfriend of TRQ's, and TC's formal date

The Convict - TRQ's makeout partner on vacation. He may or may not have held up a McDonald's in his youth

FemBoss - my boss at the bar, vapid abd blonde, but with a heart of gold

Posh - a former pledge in the sorority, currently dating Womandrew

Womandrew - a coworker at the bar, fraternity memeber and Posh's BF

The Mark - KR was briefly vying for his attention

Kat - one of my really good friends, we were born two days apart

The Starbucks Guy - a male barista at the Starbucks that all my coworkers and I frequent. He has taken a shine to one of the girls, and has asked her out not once, but twice only to be rebuffed with a vague "Well, I don't know how my boyfriend would feel about that". He still upsizes her drinks for free though.

The Cave Dweller - A girl who on the outside seems rather informed and wordly, but secretly didn't know what myspace was.

The Goth Girl - A friend who used to be a goth, and has now settled into her true calling as a grandma.

AirQuote - The epitome of small town, but in a cute way.

RR - According to The Pansy "someone whose pants I'm dying to get in". He's hot, but I also met him through work and I just don't do office romances, no matter how tempting...

The Rep - RR's friend, a hot yoga aficionado and The Pansy's current ho in a different area code

-that's it for now, but I'll constantly be updating the list.

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